Challenge: Be Positive, Be Thankful
Charity: Operation Restoration
Total £ accrued: £7
Positive Thought: “There will come a time when you believe everything is finished; that will be the beginning.” – Louis L’Amour
The Third Challenge: Being Positive & Thankful Continued…
I didn’t think I would be writing another post until the end of this month, but this came through the post today and I knew it was time to share this part of my life with you.
Those who know me will probably know what I have had to go through this year (beginning nearly exactly 1 year ago); having had my marriage break down. It is hard to find the words to describe everything I’ve gone through in the last year, except to say how blessed I have been, despite my world crumbling, despite being afraid and despite feeling so lost.
Divorce is a word people don’t like to throw around because of its stigma, but here I am, I’m 25 and divorced. But it could be so much worse!
I have had some pretty amazing friends around me, who being caught in the most awkward situation, have done their best to be there for both of us. It’s awkward when you split and you hate one another, but what is even more awkward is when you split but you still want to remain friends. I couldn’t be more thankful for how my friends and family have done their best to deal with it. Even though they are also grieving the loss of the relationship, and we will grieve. We have to; we all went into this expecting it to be forever.
But life is so strange and sometimes you wake up and you ask yourself, “How on earth did I end up here?”
On those days, I have been lucky enough to be able to smile and say to myself “but I am glad I made it here”.
It is not an easy thing to go through, but pain can be used for growth or for destruction:- make sure it’s always the first.
This flimsy piece of paper marks the end of an old chapter of my life, one which I do not regret but which needed to come to an end. For the sake of both of us. And now this month as spring begins to bring buds to bloom & rain to sun, I am reminded of new beginnings, a new start, a new door opening, a new chapter. And I know in this next year I will find myself asking that same question again, “How on earth did I end up here?”.
Thank you life, thank you earth, thank you God.
I went for an early evening stroll down the beautiful Brockham lane, to post my final application for the decree absolute. And as I was walking back, I knew that I could be so down about my life being such a mess, having failed, having let everyone down. I knew I could let the guilt weigh on my shoulders (and I do get this from time to time, the guilt of all the people who invested into the marriage emotionally, financially & spiritually). But as I looked at the sky- trees silhouetted against it, giant fireballs lightyears away which we call stars & a huge planet shining half it’s face on us – I could feel nothing but gratitude. And so in my heart I silently listed the things I was thankful for.
I’m thankful that I have somewhere to live. And somewhere so beautiful.
I’m thankful for my job.
I’m thankful for my car.
I’m thankful that I have people who love me.
I’m thankful for the amazing relationships I have and have had.
I’m thankful for the opportunities that I have, that even some close to me may never have. The opportunity to travel, have amazing experiences, to succeed in one of the richest countries in the world.
I’m so thankful to God for the beauty in the world around me, that we all can enjoy, both rich and poor. The stars in the sky, the moon, the sun on your face, the breeze, flowers, trees and so much more. Such a vast earth and full of secret riches, hidden before our very eyes.
What a beautiful world. Thank you all for being part of mine.
In the spirit of thankfulness…
Please take a moment to think of those less fortunate than you, Operation Restoration have been doing incredible work to transform the lives of street children in Bolivia. The couple who founded this amazing charity in Bolivia are Roger & Isha Hulford. Roger is the twin brother of David who I mentioned in my February blog post on Forgiveness for his amazing heart of forgiveness towards the person who killed his daughter, my close friend, in that car accident.
This family never cease to amaze me.